Humor

A friend lent me a book that I've been reading and laughing at for awhile now. This is the first time in a long time that I have laughed so much. I like to think that at one time I had a good sense of humor and enjoyed fun, but now I think I'm not remembering correctly because I seldom laugh or even smile now. And I think this is either a negative symptom of my schizoaffective disorder or related to my general flat affect and apathy. Although I still hear voices and have bouts of paranoid delusions it seems that most of my struggles are with the negative symptoms, including my inability to have fun and lack of motivation. I know my depression plays a role too, but reading this book is telling me that I still have some ability for laughter and that if I purposely sought it out I might surprise myself. This reminds me that we have a collection of Calvin and Hobbes comic strips, which I now think I will pull out and read some every morning. Hey - wait a minute - am I actually doing something about a trait that bothers me? Hmm. Maybe I'm doing better than I thought.