Riding Meds

I've been riding my meds during this current down time. Taking more or less of given psychotropics in an almost reckless attempt to find stability and balance. One more of the anti-psychotic. Double one of the anti-depressants. Take my anti-anxiety meds all together in order to magnify the effect. None of this works for me and I know that it won't even before I try it. So why do I try it? Because I am desperate to find a solution to my unregulated feelings and thoughts, to the voices and paranoid delusions that keep me trapped in painful fear.